Crazy Goat Lady

So here is my latest "hobby",  Goats!  Why, you may ask???  To be honest, I'm not quite sure.  A brief history of how it started though......2 years ago, August 2012, I was reading about goats being used to eat down weeds.  We have a canal that runs in front of our house and the weeds grow pretty high; I thought goats would be a great way to manage them.  SO.....I overheard a parent at the school I work at talking about their own goat herd.  I asked them about them and they were kind enough to let me "try them out" to see if I liked them.  The next day I went over and they loaded up 3 Nigerian dwarf goats for me to take home!!!  What happened over the course of the next few months was not expected.  We learned a lot about goat containment, staking them, fencing them in, their personalities, their likes and dislikes and I ended up not wanting to give them back.  The owner had so many goats he didn't think twice when I told them I wanted to buy them and he even gave me a screaming deal.  Fast forward to the end of 2014 and my husband and I were talking about what to do with the goats.  After more reading and research, we realized goats could be pets AND profitable!  There is a demand for milk, milk products, and meat.  With that in mind, we set out a search for a buck so that we could breed our girls. We added Romeo, a Boer buck, to the group in January 2015 and another Nigerian/Fainting cross doe in February.  We were shocked when we found out that Romeo was quite the lover and all the girls were pregnant by March!!!
Through the course of the spring months, we worked on fine tuning our containment methods, eating habits, the herd "personality" and preparing for the upcoming kidding season.
The kidding season came quickly and "Mama", one of the original 3, had hers first.  She had kidded before, so we expected multiples.....just not triplets!!  They are in the picture above and all arrived healthy.  My husband had to assist with the last two that came, but it went quickly and without any major problems.  I have been told that we are lucky they all survived and that she accepted all them to nurse.
One week later, on the 4th of July, another doe delivered a single, which also happened without problems and was a healthy doeling.

How can you not love goats??!!  I think people have misconceptions about goats.....they do not eat EVERYTHING and, if the owner thinks things through and creates a safe environment, they will not cause destruction, lol.  That being said, goats are very curious creatures and they are great escape artists, but when you learn who the Houdinis are in the herd, you can prevent any escapes! Goats are loyal pets and love their owners when taken care of properly. I love having goats!!  They are sweet, personable, fun, and easy to take care of.
What's next for us???  Well, we have 2 more pregnant does we are waiting for to kid.  Then, it is on to learning about record keeping, how to milk, how to make soaps, and deciding who to keep and who to sell!  We are just starting this venture and have a lot to learn!

I Valeted My Car.....

I drive a 2003 Honda Accord with 100,000+ miles on it, the outside has cat prints from 5 farm cats looking for a warm place to sleep, a few dings from parking in the high school parking lot, and the inside is strewn with wrappers, crumbs, toys, sports gear, and the occasional article of clothing from 2 very active young boys. Its a far cry from the Mercedes, Lexus', BMW, and other high end cars I notice as I drive into the tunnel.

And yet, here I am, pulling in behind a Lexus SUV, waiting my turn to valet my car.  I feel a little insecure as I sit here, comparing my dull, dented, dirt covered car to the sleek and shiny vehicle ahead of me.  Did they just come up the rainy, wet canyon road that I did?  Surely their car has been air-lifted in to avoid the muddy run off in the roads.

I love my car, it gives me great satisfaction that I can stretch a tank of gas for 2+ weeks.  I love the color; green is my favorite.  I like knowing that when I wash it, it still shines and those small dents and dings are harder to spot.  I love the confidence in the performance of my car; I know that the motor is solid and will probably go another 100,000 miles if I take care of it. The sound system is good, considering it is the stock mode, and the heater still works amazingly well during the frigid Utah winter months.  Occasionally, my sons' friends will jump in the car and exclaim how nice it is; funny that they consider my car "nice", when it is older than they are!

So here I sit, waiting to valet my car, a little out of my element, but excited that I am doing it.  I'm treating myself; I'm treating my car. I'm telling my car that its just as good as that Lexus SUV in front of us.  No, I mean, I'm really talking to my car, out loud, giving it positive affirmations of what a great car it is.  No one needs to tell me I'm a little crazy, I already know!  The valet guy comes up to my window and politely asks me for the key and how long I'll be staying.  "Just one night", I say and he says he'll take it from here.  Another man has already retrieved my suitcase from the  back seat and escorts me to the door with it.  I am a little surprised at how well I am treated, in spite of the fact that they just drove off in my 12 year old car, with a lego truck hanging by its tow rope from the clothes hook in the back seat for all to see.

I make it up to my hotel room and decide to start with a luxury that only happens once a year.....a hot bubble bath.  As I undress, I realize I am comparing myself to my car.  I'm no spring chicken anymore, but I still have a lot of miles left in me, I hope!  I notice that I have a few "dents and dings" on my body from life's experiences; 2 c-section babies, a recent surgery to remove a tumor(benign, thankfully), and, like the car, a spare tire that i really wish I wasn't carrying around!  I realize that those imperfections are evidence of things I love, my children, my health, even my weaknesses, which make me work harder and give me a reason to learn, grow, and appreciate the world around me. My brain is my engine that keeps things going, my faith is my fuel to roll along the bumpy roads and trudge through the storms that come along. I recognize the need to rest, relax, and get a tune up now and then by laughing, dancing, and experiencing things that technology can not replace.  Those are the things that produce true joy.  I acknowledge the need to enjoy life's indulgences, not because I've got money to waste or it is expected of a certain economic class, but rather because I deserve it because I am a valued "vehicle", one that helps my family, my friends, my students, and more.  I work hard, sometimes I show up with mud on my tires after a long day, but I've done what's been asked of me and confirmed to myself my life of purpose. So today, I valeted my car! I pray that those reading this will take time to "valet your car", you deserve it!  Happy Mother's Day!

Works every time!!

Common trash gets turned into great fire starters at our house! It is spring, which means it's time to start our season of backyard bonfires! We have a fire pit that we gather around to roast hot dogs, marshmallows, or cook tin foil dinners and Dutch oven creations. Most importantly, it is a gathering place to talk, between family members, friends and neighbors. All are welcome around the fire!
Starting the fire, however, can be a little frustrating at times. There have been times where it takes 4 or more tries to get a good flame going. Now we get it going in the 1st try every time. I learned this in girl scouts when I was young and was so excited to be able use it now.
We all have toilet paper tubes that we constantly just throw away, but now we can say we reuse them at our house. We also used to throw away the lint from the dryer too, but not any more. Just stuff the lint into the paper tube and voila! You have a great fire starter! Simply set in with your kindling and light the tube and soon the kindling catches and grows into your bigger logs. It is great! We keep a bag next to the back door so we can grab them as we head outside. I usually will use two, just for quicker, bigger flames. Grab and go for camping too!

1 Month Update!

Today marks 4 weeks since the removal of my parotid tumor!  4 weeks and I am feeling pretty close to normal again!  To briefly recap, the 1st 2 weeks out were frustrating, mostly due to fatigue, not pain.  In the past 2 weeks, I've been feeling pretty good and have only had to have an occasional nap.  I want to point out a few things I am still dealing with as the days go by....

My head/ear- I still do not have feeling in my ear and around it on my head.  This is due to the Dr. cutting the main nerve to my ear. My scalp is pretty sensitive and there are areas that hurt just to barely touch with my finger tips. My ear is also sensitive to windy, cold weather.....can you say, "ouch"?  I haven't had an earache this bad since I was a kid!  I guess this sensitivity and pain are good signs of nerves repairing themselves!

My face- I had some noticeable paralysis right after my surgery and it has gradually gotten a little better.  I can actually raise my eyebrow a little now....slightly anyway, and that's a huge accomplishment for me!  It looks like I have a questioning look on my face most of the time, lol.  My smile is also lopsided, but it really isn't that noticeable unless I am laughing hard....a casual smile doesn't look that bad!  My cheek is still numb as well....it is in the "pins and needles" stage, so I hate touching it because it sends chills down my spine!  Very annoying!

My incision- I have to say I'm very happy with the results!  It has healed nicely, without any infections.  The upper part of it, near my ear, is hardly noticeable!  The lower part of my incision, on my neck, is still a little raised, but is going down every day.  The scar is very minimal and I am using a Doterra product to help minimize it even more.

The ONLY part that I've struggled with is the "dent" that was left in my face.  My tumor  was the size of a ping pong ball and because of that, it left a bigger empty space!  Had my 1st doctor removed it when I first discovered it 8 years ago, It would not have left such a big "hole".  The picture does not show how deep it actually is.  Luckily, when people look at my face straight on, it isn't noticeable.  It is only visible if I turn my head and move my hair.  The doctor said that it should fill in somewhat over the next year or so, so i will wait and see.  I just got my hair cut and colored, so I'm feeling pretty good right now, haha!

All in all, I'd say the surgery was a success!

Uncovered!

The tape came off tonight! It took a little bit of time, but I managed to clean off the area; a lot of

dried blood, dry skin, and who knows what else that was dried behind my ear! 

I was pleasantly surprised at the minimal appearance the incision left. The scar and incision itself is going to look great; my doctor did an excellent job.  However, I'd be lying if I said I was thrilled with the results.  Although I won't have a scar, thank goodness, I now will have a rather noticeable dent in my face! The picture doesn't really show the extent of it. I shed a few tears after the tape was removed just because I expected it to be a little less noticeable.  I am not a super model, but when you see a new "flaw" that I would almost call disfiguring, it really does shake you up a bit.  I tried to get a picture to show how deep the indentation is, but I couldn't capture it on camera. 

It gets me mad all over again as I wonder if the doctor had removed it 8 years ago would this hole in my face be so big? I guess I can't sit and stew about it, I remind myself to be grateful that everything has turned out ok. Luckily my hair will cover it most of the time. All in all I'm very grateful that it is gone and grateful for a good doctor. What a crazy 3 weeks it has been!  I don't think there will be any more to this story ( I hope not, anyway!), so my updates will not be as frequent from here on out.  To those of you who are facing this same surgery, I encourage your to act swiftly, get 2nd opinions if you have any doubts, and don't think, that just because this doesn't effect your mobility, that you can quickly recover.  Allow yourself as much time as needed to rest up afterwards!  Good luck to you!

Two week post surgery selfie!

This is my two week, post surgery selfie! I chuckle when I look at this. As you can see, my face is not exactly symmetrical anymore, but it is definitely not as bad as I know it could be. I've been told that my muscle control should come back in a couple of months. My ear/side of my head is still numb and without feeling, which drives me completely crazy!!! It is uncomfortable to sleep, which is already hard for me to come by, so it gets frustrating. I was told that it could take up to a year for the feeling to come back.

My recovery has been pretty good. I have not had much pain or any complications, but the one thing I have battled is fatigue. I posted earlier about that, so I won't go into details, but it has taken the full two weeks to finally reach a day that didn't exhaust me. I am hoping it will continue to move in the right direction and I won't have any set backs.

My incision still has tape on it, so I am going to wait until it is removed in a couple of days to post pics of my incision. The lower part of my incision on my neck is uncovered and I think it looks great! It is a little raised but I believe it will go down over time.

I am so grateful to my competent doctor who insisted my tumor be removed. I'm grateful for my good health, which I believed aided in my quick recovery, and I'm grateful for my husband, who truly is my best friend and helped me through the past two weeks. I really appreciate those who brought meals, even up to day 10, when I was facing the worst exhaustion.

This experience has made me feel a crazy range of emotions from anger(towards my 1st doctor) to fear(is it cancerous?), to elation(Yay, it's benign!). I could never imagine that I would have felt all that in just 3weeks(From meeting with the doctor all the way through recovery). I will post some pics of my incision in a couple of days, after that I will update in one month, 3months, 6months, 1 year. Thanks for reading! Writing this all down had definitely been a help during recovery.

Never in A Million Years!

Never in a million years would I have thought that surgery would make me soooo tired!  No one could've convinced me that I, a mother of two, who works full time, operates a small farm, a Jamberry Nail Consultant, and who would like some time with my husband, would be practically out of commission because I am so tired!  I have hit day #12 and am feeling ok today.  If I could, I would sit on the couch all day, watching tv, checking facebook, and napping as needed.  I try to do something and it completely wipes me out afterwards!  I can fix dinner, but then I am on the couch the rest of the night.  I went to work yesterday, but I was on the couch the rest of the afternoon.  I go outside to check on the animals, but feel like I've hiked a mile.  I just want to sleep!  The frustrating thing is that sometimes I try to sleep, and it never really comes!  I lay there, eyes closed, the feeling that my body weighs 1000 lbs, totally relaxed, but never able to fall into a sleep.  The next thing I know, something needs to be done and I have to get up for a while, only to feel like I've been hit by a truck afterwards and want to sleep.....again!

I wish someone would've told me the impact that general anesthesia had on my body.  It is especially frustrating because my incision doesn't hurt, I'm not immobile, and I am not used to having down time, haha.  I had no idea that it stays in your system as long as it does.  I guess it is somewhat beneficial though, because it makes you so tired that you can't do anything, allowing your body to heal.

I decided to take charge and try to snap out of it, but only by really listening to my body and allowing myself to do the things I am capable of right now.  I rearranged my work schedule, so that I am only back 1/2 days for this week.  This allows me to sleep in and wake up naturally, without an alarm.  This is huge!  My 1st day was this morning and I can't tell you the difference it made.  I feel rested and ready to tackle the day.  I also am ONLY drinking water!  I realized that I had been "treating" myself to my favorite drink- Diet Dr. Pepper with Peach syrup almost daily since my surgery.  I really believe that aspartame can cause problems and I think it was magnifying the side affects I was already dealing with.  I switched to water yesterday, and believe it or not, noticed an immediate difference!  My head was not in a fog and I was able to think clearly.  I was not immediately filled with energy, but the effort to get off the couch was not as great.  I was frustrated by the fact that I was going to the bathroom every hour, but I can live with that.  I am hoping the water will flush out that anesthesia more quickly.

My advice to anyone getting any type of surgery is allow yourself  time to recover!  Rest as much as you can, but also recognize when activity may be needed to wake you up a little.  Wish me luck as I continue to recover.  I am almost 2 weeks out.  I have one piece of tape left on my incision and it will come off anyday now.  The bottom half that is already uncovered looks really good, I was somewhat surprised.  I will post 2 week pics in a couple of days!

My Neck is Leaking!#

Gross! That's all that needs to be said about this post! I was sitting quietly watching tv and I felt something running down my neck! My husband checked it out and said there was a little puss and some clear liquid coming from the incision. Of course it is Friday and after hours, but luckily my Dr. shares his cell phone number for situations like this! He calmed me down and reassured me that I was ok. He said that it was a buildup of saliva, since the Parotid gland is a saliva gland and it had no where to go but out through the incision. He said I didn't need antibiotics unless I developed a fever, so I will have to watch out for that.
Sorry for the gross pic, but wanted to show where the puss and saliva was coming out from.
So, all in all, turns out its not a big deal, but definitely gross!!

Post Perotidectomy

So I have hit the one week mark and decided I needed to update. I do this not to bring on attention to me or sympathy, but more for other people to reference that are or will be going through the same thing. It was really frustrating when I was trying to find real life experiences prior to surgery to give me an idea of what to expect.  All I could find was scientific articles or pictures of the surgery.....DO NOT look at surgery pics, they will freak you out!  I wanted info about the incision, the recovery, the pain, possible complications, etc. so let me recap my one week experience.

Immediately after surgery, I felt pretty good... There was some very localized pain, so I took Lortab as prescribed by my doctor. I came out of surgery with absolutely no nausea! This was my first experience with general anesthesia and I was nervous about getting sick afterwards based on what I've heard from other people.  My anesthesiologist was amazing! He was surprised that, at age 41, I had never "gone under" for any surgery.  He was fantastic and I bounced back from it quickly after surgery. 

Here is the part that caused the pain....the drain! The vials on the drain were vacuumed sealed, so they really did draw out the blood and fluids from the incision and when it did, boy was it painful! So my first 24 hours was mostly pain management from the drain. I was pretty coherent and felt good other than being tired. Here is a picture of my incision with the drain immediately after surgery. You can see the drain tube coming out at the bottom of the tape. The drain tube was taped to my chest.

You can see that it looks a little messy, but the tape is all that they used to cover the incision! I was expecting to come out of surgery looking like a q-tip, but was pleasantly surprised that the bandage was minimal....and my hair covers most of it!

After the drain was removed the next day, I felt great! I switched to using ibuprofen only and aside from feeling tired, there were really no other effects.  The pain was minimal.  

Let me be real with you and tell you some of the emotional side effects I face. To me, these are very different to experience than the physical side effects. I came out of the surgery with some facial paralysis. I do not have control of my left eye and brow. My left side of my mouth has some limited movement as well. I have been told that this is temporary and I have to have faith that it is, but it is a little worrisome to me! Luckily, my Dr. told me that my case is mild compared to others he's seen. I can blink my eye, but can not shut it tightly. I can not lift my eyebrow, and my smile is lopsided. At the end of the day, my left eye is tired and waters profusely. I also bit the left side of my lip the other day when I was eating, I assume from lack of muscle control to keep it out of the way, lol!  I do not consider myself a vain person, but I think anyone would become a little self conscious when you face is suddenly altered.  I have to get over it and work through the emotions because I have a job where I interact with the public everyday, so as of tomorrow, I will be back to work, lopsided smile or not!

Another note, my left ear is completely numb.  They have to cut the nerve to the ear in order to do the surgery.  This is incredibly annoying! It feels like there is a foreign object on the side of my head and is uncomfortable to touch, lay on, or even brush my hair. I was told that it could take up to a year to gain feeling back into my ear. My hearing is unaffected and really, what do you need to feel with your ear anyway, right?

Today is the one week mark, and I think my nerves are starting to mend. The reason I think this is because it hurts!, I've had minimal pain, but now I think it was because my nerves were not working! Now they are starting to work again and I am feeling some pain. Nothing horrible, but worse than any other day I've had so far. 

Lastly, the best news about this whole procedure is that the tumor was benign! No cancer! I can not begin to tell you how thankful I am for that! It is such a relief! I am humbled and grateful when I think about all the people that have offered prayers for that outcome and a quick recovery. I do believe in the power of prayers and believe that they did contribute to an easy post-op recovery so far. Thank you! 

It's Not a Tumor.....Oh Wait, Yes It Is!

It's a What???!!

Back in 2007, I was living in Idaho and woke up one morning with a strange bump on my face.  I immediately went to our family doctor, who ordered a CT scan, and then was referred to an E.N.T for further diagnosis. The ENT was confident it was called a Perotid Cyst because of the fact that the inflammation had gone down in size.  He said it was not a tumor because tumors steadily grew larger, while cysts fluctuated in size due to the fluid that was in them.  He said not to worry about it and there was no reason to treat it unless I didn't like the cosmetic look of it or if it caused any physical problems.  So.....fast forward 8 years........I had left it alone because my hair usually covered it and most people didn't even notice it.  It had also never physically bothered me, until now.

Right after Christmas, I noticed that I always felt a pressure-like sensation in my cheek, right where the bump was.  Pretty soon, a full yawn was painful.  It became uncomfortable for me to eat, especially things that required a large bite into it,like a big sandwich.  It became so annoying I decided to go to the doctor.  We are now living in Utah, so I went to a different ENT.  I brought my Idaho medical records with me.  Upon review, he noticed there were contradictory statements in the records. At one point, the Idaho Dr. referred to it as a "cyst" and in another spot he referred to it as a "mass".  Apparently, these two words are a HUGE difference, so he wanted to look at the original scans to get a clear idea of what he was dealing with.  The scans were delivered to the new ENT within 24hours and I got a phone call that infuriated me.  My Utah Dr. said that without a doubt, the "mass" was indeed a tumor and needed to be removed right away.  He said, "I don't know what your doctor was thinking; this was a tumor back then and should've been removed 8 years ago!"  The original size of the tumor at the time of discovery was large enough that it should've been treated immediately.  My Utah Dr. was concerned about how large it could be now after 8 years of growth.

A Perotidectomy (removal of the perotid gland) was scheduled exactly one week from that phone call.  I was scared to death.  I had never had a surgery with general anesthesia and it made me nervous.  The other thing that hadn't been mentioned yet was the possibility of the dreaded c-word....cancer. Going in to the surgery, the doctor seemed optimistic, as these types of tumors had a relatively low cancer rate, however I couldn't get the thought out of my mind.  Along with that scare was the other possibility of facial paralysis. The gland/tumor lies right on your main facial nerve, so surgery is always risky.

The day of surgery came and I was lucky to have a personable anesthesiologist who said he would assure me a great experience of going "under".  I have to say he did a great job!  Whatever he gave me pre-op worked well to calm my nerves and I came out of it easily without any nausea or complications. The surgery was longer than expected, 3 hours!  It turned out that the tumor was slightly larger than a ping pong ball and had wrapped itself around one of the nerves that controls facial muscles around my eye.  He said that had I left the tumor alone, it would have gradually constricted the nerve and I would have had permanent nerve damage to that area.

After the surgery, I only stayed at the hospital long enough for the anesthesia to wear off.  I returned home with a drain in place on my neck and some prescription pain killers.  At home, the pain actually came from the drain, not the incision!  I was tired but coherent and settled into a spot on the couch to rest.  We had to switch out the drain vials about every 3-4 hours until the next morning when I returned to the Dr.'s office to have it removed.  It was at this time that he gave some unsettling facts about the surgery.  The left side of my face was temporarily paralyzed.  He said that he "angered" the nerves during surgery, causing them to stop working.  It will be a matter of weeks to possibly months until I get full control of my left side again. I pray he is right.  I don't consider myself a vain person, but the thought of having a droopy left side of my face makes me feel very insecure about myself!  He also said that it is standard procedure to cut the nerve that controls feeling to my ear. At this time, I have no feeling in my left ear and the immediate area around it on my head.  He said that it could take 6 months to a year to get it back!!  Oh well, I guess you don't really need feeling in your ear, do you?  My hearing in my left ear is just fine.  The last thing I was worried about is the space where the tumor was.....it now looks like a crater by my ear!  He said that it will naturally fill in "a little",but I will always have an indentation where the tumor was.  My kids think it looks gross, and I have to admit, it kinda freaks me out too!  I hope it fills in a little quickly!

I have an incision about 5 inches down the side of my face, with lovely white tape covering it for the next two weeks.  I will post a pic of that soon.  I will post pics of the incision healing over time as well. My scar shouldn't be too noticeable after 6 months from what I've been told and I am optimistic.
So now, all I can do is rest, the pain isn't bad at all. I'm trying to only take ibuprofen as needed.  I am still waiting for the lab results of the tumor itself, but am also optimistic that the Dr. is right and that it will be benign.  When I think about the whole story, I get mad at the Dr. in Idaho who didn't know what he was talking about, but at least I wound up in the care of a competent Dr. here in Utah and have had the problem resolved!  What a crazy week!